(Outer space. Two planets meet by accident and hail each other.)
ONE: Hey, whoa, how are you!
TWO: Hi! I must be way out of orbit, running into you! Look at you!
ONE: Hey, you look great! What is it, trillions?
TWO: Trillions of years, it has been. So how’s your civilization?
ONE: Well, they’re just discovering music, if you know what I mean.
TWO: Lotta drums, huh? My smallest satellite – Plutonis, that green bit in the distance, just broke out in mammals.
ONE: Very natural, mine had them. I notice your polar ice caps are larger.
TWO: Well, you’re not exactly molten, you old spheroid – how’s your star?
ONE: The red giant? No, seriously, fine, couldn’t break free if I wanted to!
(awkward silence)
TWO (out of chat): Well, you look great. Real atmosphere.
ONE: You, too. Bounce some cosmic rays in my direction.
TWO: Sure will, I sure will.
ONE: Bye!
TWO: Bye!
(They part. Pause, then each says to itself simultaneously)
BOTH: I thought she’d exploded!
(blackout)
From May Contain Nuts by Michael J. Rosen. HarperCollins Publishers. Used by permission.
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