“I believe it is inevitable that within five years, people will be having sex with robots,” [David] Levy told his audience…..”I believe that by 2050 people in large numbers will be falling in love with robots and marrying them in large numbers,” he said. — The Ottawa Citizen – June 23, 2008
New York Times – Weddings & Celebrations – July 10, 2050
CRUIKSHANK – ROBOWORLD-3000
Dr. Stephen and Louise Cruikshank of Stamford, Connecticut are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter Mary Ellen to “Robbie” RoboWorld-3000.
Ms. Cruikshank is a graduate of Swarthmore and is presently pursuing postgraduate studies at Yale University in early childhood psychology. The groom is a product of LeisureWorld Robotics Inc. of Cambridge, Massachusetts and a graduate of their advanced psycho-sexual assembly line.
The marriage ceremony was held last Saturday at the home of the bride’s parents. The bride wore a full-length dress with organza trim and a silver-threaded veil while the groom was decked out in his formalwear encapsulation package and spare battery pack.
The bride expressed delight at her marriage to Mr. Roboworld and touted his handsome appearance and ten-year parts-and-labor warranty. For his part, Mr. Roboworld stated: “Many customers have examined my features but I instantly recognized that Mary Ellen was the most compatible, asynchronous partner for me.”
The couple will be taking up residence in the bride’s New Haven, Connecticut apartment. Ms. Cruikshank will be spending much of her time studying at Yale while Mr. RoboWorld-3000 will be spending his days recharging in the bedroom closet.
NYMPHETTE MODEL 601 – CORRIGAN
Nymphette Model 601 was married Saturday to James T. Corrigan at the premises of Computer Pals Inc. in Passaic, New Jersey in a warranty replacement ceremony. Computer Pals’s COO Martin Gimlet officiated.
The bride is a top-of-the-line fembot with all of the available options including non-chafing skin and Pleasuralizer Plus. She is a recent product of Computer Pals’s state-of-the-art production facility in Singapore.
The bridegroom, 67, is a retired maintenance worker living in Newark. As Mr. Corrigan was previously wed to a Vixen 2000, an earlier Computer Pals product, this marriage was fully financed by the company under its robot replacement warranty.
“I’m so happy,” said the beaming bridegroom. “At first I couldn’t imagine life without my Vixen 2000 but when I saw the Nymphette Model 601, it was love at first sight.”
The Nymphette Model 601 was unavailable for comment as Mr. Corrigan opted to forego the voice module and the interpersonal conversation option.
“I’m pretty much a visual kind of guy,” said Mr. Corrigan.
The couple will reside in Mr. Corrigan’s Newark townhouse so long as his dog Rex can be trained to stop chewing on robots. Otherwise, the new Mrs. Corrigan will be taking up residence in the adjoining garage.
ANDROID MAN – ROBOGUY
Thanks to recent changes in the laws of New York State, same-circuit marriages are now legal. First to take advantage of the new law were Android Man and Roboguy. The two male-programmed robots tied their power supplies together at a small, private ceremony last Monday in the assembly room of speciality manufacturer Advanced Homo Electricus Robotronics in Westchester, New York.
Plant spokesman Ed Entwhistle officiated at the ceremony which was attended by the plant foreman, six assembly line workers and the completed line production of gay robots from Monday’s first shift.
“I am programmed to like men,” said Android Man. “But none measures up to Roboguy. His circuitry is really dreamy.”
“I feel the same way,” said Roboguy. “My only disappointment is that we couldn’t have the ceremony in California.”
