PEANUT BUTTER: Hi.
JELLY: Hi.
PEANUT BUTTER: Listen, we don’t have to do it now, but at some point we should talk about last night.
JELLY: Why? Did you not enjoy yourself?
PEANUT BUTTER: No, I had a great time. It was incredible, in fact. Just so…unexpected.
JELLY: It was, wasn’t it?
PEANUT BUTTER: I never thought anything would happen between us. You’re so outgoing and fun loving. I’m a little more quiet and reserved.
(They pause for a moment of mutual adoration.)
JELLY: If it happened again, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
PEANUT BUTTER: Far from it.
JELLY: In fact, we should do it again.
PEANUT BUTTER: Definitely.
JELLY: How about every day at lunchtime from now on?
PEANUT BUTTER: I bet Dylan’s glad he brought us from home today. That cafeteria meatloaf looks a little suspect.
JELLY: Those other kids will never know the simple joy of a you-and-me sandwich!
PEANUT BUTTER: I promise you one day we’ll move out of this Ziploc bag. I’ll get a great job and we can move into that Tupperware container you always wanted.
JELLY: I love you, Peanut Butter.
PEANUT BUTTER: I love you, Jelly.
WHOLE WHEAT BREAD: You guys make me sick.
PEANUT BUTTER: Hi.
JELLY: Hi.
PEANUT BUTTER: We have to talk, and we should probably do it now.
JELLY: What’s wrong?
PEANUT BUTTER: I’ve been thinking about us. The future.
JELLY: What do you mean?
PEANUT BUTTER: I mean we’ve been together for over 30 years. Isn’t it time to…grow up?
JELLY: Grow up? We’re timeless! Do you really want to throw away all our history?
PEANUT BUTTER: I don’t know. Yes?
JELLY: You met someone, didn’t you?!
PEANUT BUTTER: I don’t want to talk about it.
JELLY: Who is it? It’s that tramp, Honey, isn’t it?!
PEANUT BUTTER: (mumbles)
JELLY: I can’t hear you!
(JELLY throws a plate across the room. It smashes against the wall.)
PEANUT BUTTER: Banana.
JELLY: Peanut butter and banana?! That’ll never work! You’re crazy!
PEANUT BUTTER: Yes I am. Crazy in love.
